Emily DickinsonFascicle 37

F773
Conscious am I in my Chamber -
Of a shapeless friend -
He doth not attest by Posture -
Nor confirm - by Word -
Neither Place - need I present Him -
Fitter Courtesy
Hospitable intuition
Of His Company -
Presence - is His furthest license -
Neither He to Me
Nor Myself to Him - by Accent -
Forfeit Probity -

Weariness of Him, were quainter
Than Monotony
Knew a Particle - of Space's
Vast Society -
Neither if He visit Other -
Do He dwell - or Nay - know I -
But Instinct esteem Him
Immortality -

F774
You taught me Waiting with Myself -
Appointment strictly kept -
You taught Me fortitude of Fate -
This - also - I have learnt -

An Altitude of Death, that could
No bitterer debar
Than Life - had done - before it -
Yet - there is a Science more -

The Heaven you know - to understand
That you be not ashamed
Of Me - in Christ's bright Audience
Opon the further Hand -

F775
Suspense - is Hostiler than Death -
Death - tho'soever Broad,
Is just Death, and cannot increase -
Suspense - does not conclude -

But perishes - to live anew -
But just anew to die -
Annihilation - plated fresh
With Immortality -

F776
Drama's Vitallest Expression is the Common Day
That arise and set about Us -
Other Tragedy

Perish in the Recitation -
This - the best enact
When the Audience is scattered
And the Boxes shut -

"Hamlet" to Himself were Hamlet -
Had not Shakespeare wrote -
Though the "Romeo" left no Record
Of his Juliet,

It were infinite enacted
In the Human Heart -
Only Theatre recorded
Owner cannot shut -

F777
Life, and Death, and Giants -
Such as These - are still -
Minor - Apparatus - Hopper of the Mill -
Beetle at the Candle -
Or a Fife's Fame -
Maintain - by Accident that they proclaim -

F778
Four Trees - opon a solitary Acre -
Without Design
Or Order, or Apparent Action -
Maintain -

The Sun - opon a Morning meets them -
The Wind -
No nearer Neighbor - have they -
But God -

The Acre gives them - Place -
They - Him - Attention of Passer by -
Of Shadow, or of Squirrel, haply -
Or Boy -

What Deed is Their's unto the General Nature -
What Plan
They severally - retard - or further -
Unknown -

F779
The Grace - Myself - might not obtain -
Confer opon my flower -
Refracted but a Countenance -
For I - inhabit Her -

F780
The Birds reported from the South -
A News express to Me -
A spicy Charge, My little Posts -
But I am deaf - Today -

The Flowers - appealed - a timid Throng -
I reinforced the Door -
Go blossom to the Bees - I said -
And trouble Me - no More -

The Summer Grace, for notice strove -
Remote - Her best Array -
The Heart - to stimulate the Eye
Refused too utterly -

At length, a Mourner, like Myself,
She drew away austere -
Her frosts to ponder - then it was
I recollected Her -

She suffered Me, for I had mourned -
I offered Her no word -
My Witness - was the Crape I bore -
Her - Witness - was Her Dead -

Thenceforward - We - together dwelt -
She - never questioned Me -
Nor I - Herself -
Our Contract
A speechless Wiser Sympathy

F781
Remorse - is Memory - awake -
Her Parties all astir -
A Presence of Departed Acts -
At window - and at Door -

It's Past - set down before the Soul
And lighted with a match -
Perusal - to facilitate -
And help Belief to reach stretch-

Remorse is cureless - the Disease
Not even God - can heal -
For 'tis His institution - and
The Adequate of Hell -

F782
Renunciation - is a piercing Virtue -
The letting go
A Presence - for an Expectation -
Not now -
The putting out of Eyes -
Just Sunrise -
Lest Day -
Day's Great Progenitor -
Outvie
Renunciation - is the Choosing
Against itself -
Itself to justify
Unto itself -
When larger function -
Make that appear -
Smaller - Covered Vision - Here -

F783
Never for Society
He shall seek in vain -
Who His own acquaintance
Cultivate - Of Men
Wiser Men may weary -
But the Man within

Never knew Satiety -
Better entertain
Than could Border Ballad -
Or Biscayan Hymn -
Neither introduction
Need You - unto Him -

F784
I sometimes drop it, for a Quick -
The Thought to be alive -
Anonymous Delight to know -
And madder - to conceive -

Consoles a wo so monstrous
That did it tear all Day,
Without an instant's Respite -
'Twould look too far - to Die -

Delirium - diverts the Wretch
For Whom the Scaffold neighs -
The Hammock's motion lulls the Heads
So close on Paradise -

A Reef - crawled easy from the Sea
Eats off the Brittle Line -

The Sailor does'nt know the Stroke -
Until He's past the Pain -

F785
It dropped so low - in my Regard -
I heard it hit the Ground -
And go to pieces on the Stones
At bottom of my mind -

Yet blamed the Fate that fractured - less
Than I reviled Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Opon my Silver Shelf -

Autumn - overlooked my Knitting -
Dyes - said He - have I -
Could disparage a Flamingo -
<
Cochineal - I chose - for deeming
Itresemble Thee -
And the little Border - Dusker -
For resembling Me -

F787
Bloom opon the mountain stated
Efflorescence of a sunset
Reproduced the same.

Seed had I, my purple sowing
Should address the day
Not a tropic of a twilight
Show itself away -

Who for tilling, to the mountain
Come, and disappear -
Whose, be this renown, or fading
Witness, is not here.

While I state the solemn petals
Far as north and east
Far as south and west expanding
Culminate in rest -

And the mountain to the evening
Fit his countenance
Indicating by no muscle
The experience.

F788
Publication - is the Auction
Of the Mind of Man -
Poverty - be justifying
For so foul a thing

Possibly - but We - would rather
From Our Garret go
White - unto the White Creator -
Than invest - Our Snow -

Thought belong to Him who gave it -
Then - to Him Who bear
It's Corporeal illustration - sell
The Royal Air -

In the Parcel - Be the Merchant
Of the Heavenly Grace -
But reduce no Human Spirit
To Disgrace of Price -

F789
All but Death, Can be adjusted
Dynasties repaired -
Systems - settled in their Sockets -
Citadels - dissolved -

Wastes of Lives - resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs -
Death - unto itself - Exception -
Is exempt from Change -

F790
Growth of Man - like Growth of Nature -
Gravitates within -
Atmosphere, and Sun endorse it -
But it stir - alone -

Each - it's difficult Ideal
Must achieve - Itself -
Through the solitary prowess
Of a Silent Life -

Effort - is the sole condition -
Patience of Itself -
Patience of opposing forces -
And distinct intact Belief -

Looking on - is the Department
Of it's Audience -
But Transaction - is assisted
By no Countenance -

F791
My Worthiness is all my Doubt -
His Merit - all my fear -
Contrasting which, my quality
Do lowlier - appear -

Lest I should insufficient prove
For His beloved Need -
The Chiefest Apprehension
Opon my happy thronging Mind -

'Tis true - that Deity to stoop
Inherently incline -
For nothing higher than Itself
Itself can base rest opon -

So I - the Undivine Abode
Of His Elect Content -
Conform my Soul - as 'twere a Church,
Unto Her Sacrament -

F792
So the Eyes accost - and sunder
In an Audience -
Stamped - occasionally - forever -
So may Countenance

Entertain - without addressing
Countenance of One
In a Neighboring Horizon -
Gone - as soon as known -

My Soul - accused Me - And I quailed -
As Tongues of Diamond had reviled
All Else accused Me - and I smiled -
My Soul - that Morning - was My friend -

Her favor - is the best Disdain
Toward Artifice of Time - or Men -
But Her Disdain - 'twere lighter bear
A finger of Enamelled Fire -